Dear Hattie

Dear Hattie,

I met you just 4 days ago. I said goodbye to you the day before yesterday. This is one of those times that I'm not sure if it was harder to say hello or goodbye.

It doesn't make sense. I once heard a quote that "time heals what reason cannot" and that's what I keep telling myself. Because I cannot make reason of why you were taken from us.

I struggle to understand why God chose this. It doesn't take away the hurt, but I am comforted knowing that your life had purpose. And you fulfilled His purpose perfectly. And for that, I am so very proud of you.

When I said goodbye to you, I sang you "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". It's one of my children's favorite lullabies. When I look up at the night sky, and I see a star shining bright, I shall forever think of you and how you are looking down on us, watching us.

Goodnight my little star,

I will always love you anyway,

Auntie Chel

Dear Nolan and Audrey - 9 Months

Dear Nolan and Audrey – 9 months

Your Mama has always done these letters for each of you separately.  But I thought I would do a combined 9 month letter (even though you two have very different personalities).

You both have started to notice each other more and seem to enjoy playing together.  It feels like we are having to pull you guys apart a lot less often!  We used to not be able to leave you two together because there would be immediate hair-pulling and crying (usually Nolan was the instigator).  But lately you have been playing with the same toys and having fun together.  I’ve noticed that sometimes you will be looking at one another and “talking” to each other.  I also love to get you out of your cribs when you wake up in the morning or from a nap.  You both look so happy to see me and it makes me feel very loved.  You also run a play I call “The Ben and Jacob Play.”  This is where one of you gets into something you’re not supposed to play with, and as soon as the first perpetrator gets carried away by Mama or me, the other moves in and starts playing with it.  Ben and Jacob were very good at this strategy and you two have started to master this move also!

Nolan, it is fun to watch you play.  You’ve started playing really well by yourself.  But we’ve noticed that your main way of playing is to see how much destruction you can cause!  We’re in trouble when you start walking, which won’t be long.  You’ve finally started to do an actual crawl instead of your usual army-crawl/scoot, but more often, you’re standing up, holding on to furniture or trying to walk behind a push toy.  This is usually done with a big grin on your face.  You are a happy little guy most of the time, and have a great smile.  No teeth showing yet, but there’s two that close.

Audrey, you are such a little sweetheart.  You just keep getting cuter and cuter every day.  I love your hair and the way it curls on the sides.  You have become such a little talker lately.  You try to mimic our sounds and then you start laughing.  We were cheering on Lucy the other day and you started clapping your hands every time we cheered.  There have been a few times when we’ve realized that you’re standing up without holding on to anything.  You then usually lunge toward us.  You’re very brave and really not scared of anything.  I love your smile too, with those 2 perfect little bottom teeth!

One other similarity between the two of you is the amount of joy you bring to our lives.  While you are your own, unique individuals already, you came into our lives together and have brought so much love and happiness to our family.  You also have a big sister who is always looking out for you both and concerned that you have everything you need.

I love you both so much and love watching you each grow and learn every day.  When I get home and you both start crawling toward me is always one of the highlights of my day.

Love Always.

Your Daddy

Sisterly love...

Dear Nolan - 8 1/2 months

Dear Nolan,

It has been less than 48 hours since I last saw you, and I miss you terribly. Your daddy and I went on vacation for the first time since you were born, and we left you with Nuna, and left your sisters with Nana & Papa.

My love for you is stronger than any love I've ever experienced. You can be a total butthead, and climb on top of Audrey, and make Lucy so so so mad, but if there's one consistent thing about you, it's your love for your mama. Seriously, you think I'm awesome...

As soon as I come home from work, you army crawl full force in my direction. You are bummed if I pick up Audrey first (she is pretty darn quick!)
Even though you love to cruise from furniture to furniture, your favorite mode of transportation continues to be in a carrier, extra close to your mama.

You have the most amazing toothless grin and it melts my heart. You enjoy playing by yourself, unless Lucy is playing with something you're not suppose to have. She has gotten very good at saying, "Mama, please move Nolan, please" when you are causing trouble.

I really don't think any letter or blog post could ever describe my love for you, but I can promise you, it's the greatest love I'll ever know.

I'll always love you anyway,

Your Mama

My true love...

Not sure how I'm going to go 5 days without this guy...